Wait, wait, wait wait wait. I said WAIT. Jeez, in a rush or something? So just when I told you where I’d be this week it seems things are changing. I will now be on Red Eye Jan 6 on the Fox News Channel at midnight PST/3am EST which is Wednesday night/Thursday morning. I will be fantastic, so if you’d like to leave comments about how great I was in advance, I’m currently accepting them.

Right after taping that, but before you see that, I will be doing my Ustream show at 8pm PST/11pm EST and I’m excited to have Chad Rogers from Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing as one of my guests that night.

CHAD!

Will I mention to Chad that Justin Bieber seems to have ripped off his hairstyle?

JUSTIN!

Or will I mention that Jack Wild from Oliver was waaaaay ahead of both of them?

THE ARTFUL DODGER!

It’s tough to say, really. There may be some hot Skippy action as well. And NY1 icon Pat Kiernan will be dropping in, phonewise, one of these nights too. UPDATE, HE WILL BE ON THIS WEDNESDAY’S SHOW! YAY!

PAT KIERNAN!

Speaking of hair, which I kind of always am, the following week on my Ustream show I most likely will be on the business end of a haircut given to me by a producer for a very popular TV show which rhymes with Faily Show. Because I’m ready for a big change in my style, I’m hoping he’ll lop off about 1/18th of an inch of my precious tresses, which I’ll then donate to a very tiny charity who makes very tiny wigs out of very tiny bits of hair. Like wigs for bugs. Bug merkins. Anyway, should more than 1/18th of hair come off the ends of my locks there very well may be tears. Not mine. He’ll also be cutting his own hair which is how we got into this whole mess. It was like this:

Him: I cut my own hair.

Me: No way. That’s impressive. Do you ever cut girl hair?

Him: I have before. I could give you a haircut on your Ustream show.

Me: Sure, why the fuck not.

It’s funny, because if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s relaxed about my hair! (If there’s two things I’m not, it’s relaxed about my hair and made out of ginger bread).

So in sum, your Wednesday looks like this:

8pm PST/11pm EST: Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend (Ustream, this is on your computer!)

12am PST/3am EST: Red Eye (Fox News Channel, this is on your television!)

Yesterday I was on Hannity with Ralph Reed and something was bothering me and it wasn’t just the fact that we disagree about everything. Was it his tan? No, although he was exceptionally bronzed. Was it his alarmingly youngish image? No, although I’m sure there’s a rapidly aging portrait of him somewhere. Was it his uber friendliness? No, although had I not had prior engagements I would have been tempted to grab a beer with him which is also how I felt about Ann Coulter who’s more pleasant and unassuming than you’d expect.

And then I realized.

He looks a lot like Pete (Vincent Kartheiser) from Mad Men.

Here I am, totally unaware someone is taking a photo

It’s called Switch and it premieres tomorrow on TVTropolis at 9:30pm. I did six episodes and I’m not sure the order they’re airing them so I’m not sure if I’m in tomorrow’s episode. Here are more photos from the set.

Oh and a note about the Oct. 4 stand up gig at this year’s Funniest Reporter show. I thought it was at Gotham Comedy Club but it’s at Comic Strip Live. Write it on your hand!

Go here to find out more about the hilarious Amy Schumer.

And pretty soon I’ll be posting videos here so go there and look around and get used to things and make yourself comfortable, won’t you? (note: it’s currently being tinkered with by the amazing Andrew Mager so it might look weird if you click now but DO IT ANYWAY I dare you.)

Also, if you’re the twittering kind please retweet because the more people who watch The Daily Alison, the happier everyone in the entire world will be. I’m sure of it!

So I’m overdue in posting some photos. The above is a green room shot from Geraldo. It’s actually a makeup room in the green room shot. Note the wee Josh Groban behind me.

Oh and here’s the world’s ugliest red-or-is-it-green pepper. Do you see it? If I knew how to put arrows into photos I’d do that but let’s see here. If you aren’t seeing it, it’s directly to the left of the cabbage heads in the middle row. I don’t think this photo quite captures its horrifying freak of nature quality. It looked like it had a green tongue sticking out of it. And then when I went to snap a photo I’m pretty sure one of the grocery store guys took off to alert the boss in the back that there was some kind of vegetable narc on the premises. That’s fine. I’m kind of a vigilante vegetable narc. I make a citizen’s arrest of this pepper. Do not stare directly at this pepper.

And this is why late nights are confusing lately. Maybe? I don’t know. I’m too fired up about the pepper to really think about whether this is the sign that captures the confusion or not however basically it’s very easy to misread these signs (there are a few different ones) and end up standing on a platform for a train that’s never coming which isn’t a metaphor but when it happens to you it’s impossible not to feel like it’s a sign of how you’re living your life, instead of a sign about how you misread or don’t read signs, which is also a sign.

Oh hey and this is X’s manager Mike Rouse, Billy Zoom of X and me in the green room at Red Eye. Here’s an article about how I know Billy.

And then here’s Billy and me.

And here’s Doug Benson and me. We were totally baked in this photo except for me. Thanks to his being in town I saw two plays and a comedy show last week. Left to my own devices I might have just taken photos of atrocious vegetables.

Oh and kind of related by not entirely but kind of: I’m trying to get the word out about The Daily Alison so if you enjoy it please tell your friends and if you don’t enjoy it, please try to enjoy it. No, try harder!

Thanks to the very awesome Joe for making this clip!

Did you see it? Here’s a green room shot that I uploaded to twitpic. I could say more but I’m tired. Maybe I’ll talk about it more on my daily vlog tomorrow? I bet I will. I will however say that after the hit (that’s TV talk for “appearance”) it was all I could do not to eat the trough of carbohydates that were sitting in the green room because I was hungry and they were there. Instead of eating the whole palette of them I just picked at a muffin that tasted strangely brothy. “This muffin tastes like soup,” I thought to myself, wondering if there are soup muffins. But it was sort of sweet at the same time. Like a sweet chicken muffin, which would be a great nickname for someone you don’t like all that much.

Want to know more about Drew Toal? His blog is at http://www.sufferthegringo.wordpress.com

I need to update my blogroll to the right with links to everyone’s websites. I also need to add an upcoming appearances section. In the meantime I’ll tell you that I’m on Red Eye on Thursday with Billy Zoom of the band X who produced my old band’s unreleased album. So that’s kind of nutty and crazy since Sir Zoom and I used to talk about how I wanted to move to New York and he couldn’t understand why I’d want to move here. He’s more a Chicago man himself and he was sure pushing that windy city on me hard since I was hellbent on getting out of OC and going to a real city. Also, I might be on Geraldo tomorrow. But that’s just a maybe. And I worry I’m getting sick. I don’t normally worry about this however every time I do I make sure to blog it, since it’s fascinating.

Last night I went to the Best Week Ever tweet up and before you even shake your head, it was fun and it was about Twitter and Best Week Ever so just shut it, okay? I took some photos and uploaded to twitpic but I wanted to post them here, too. Above is a photo of the drinks they were serving.

And then here’s me wearing a name tag because everyone was wearing name tags and I’m a follower.

OMG! A follower! I just made a twitter joke and I didn’t even mean to! Kind of hate myself right now!

And then here’s Pat Kiernan of NY1 around whom I kind of fawned because he’s a NY institution.

And then after the tweet up we went to Crocodile Lounge where I got in touch with my skeeball roots. I’ve kind of lost my skeeball skills I’m sad to say but I think I could get them back if I worked at it.

And now I have to go wash this TV makeup off my face because I’m getting that uncomfortable TV Makeup Is Eating My Face feeling. I’m sure I have more to tell you but why rush into everything right now, you know?

Hey you guys. Don’t be scared by the new design. I’m still the same old gal except now my name is Debra and I enjoy putting together fruit baskets. Not eating them, cuz I’m watching my carbs, but designing them. Edible bouquets, I call them. Sometimes other gals will ring me up, you know, on the old telly and I’ll be like MARGE it’s for you because I always assume when someone’s buzzing us on the horn that it’s gonna be for MARGE because she’s popular and spells her name in all caps. MARGE I say, yelling at the top of my lungs, PICK UP THE PHONE. She never does though because she died four years ago. Bet you didn’t see that coming. Frankly I didn’t either. I thought she was still in the other room painting her toenails and being a royal pain in the ass with the way she’s always talking about Italy.

Anyway, so Ma Bell is just blowing up and no one’s answering. Who could that be giving us a jingle jangle? Who’s buzzing? What the hell was I talking about? Dammit I forget. Oh yes, sometimes ladies will give me the old honkaroo wondering if I can design a randy fruit basket for a bachelorette party and that is where I draw the line. No funny stuff with bananas. That’s not the kind of business I run.

But none of that was what I was going to say and none of that is my imitation of me. My imitation of me is as follows. Oh and by the way this is my imitation of me while working on the new design for the blog with Andrew Mager who is awesome:

Hey so do you think we could try this photo instead?

Wait, what about this one?

Hm, I thought I would like that one but what about this one?

Hm, what do you think? Let’s try this one.

Don’t hate me but could we try this one?

I don’t know what I want to see there, can you make a collage? Of all of them? But not that one? How about this one?

Wait, what about this one?

GOD DAMMIT WHERE IS THAT DUCKLING PHOTO? This is all MARGE’S fault.

Oh, you haven’t gotten up to pee all day and your butt just fell asleep? Ok, how about one more quick thing? How about just this photo?

And by that what I mean to say is that if you’re working with me you get to see a lot of photos of me and that is truly its own reward.