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Archive for the ‘things which aren't that fun’ Category

No more smuggling guns onto trains

Written by Alison | September 17th, 2009 at 6:34 am | Comments

Am I wrong in thinking this is scary? I suspect I’m much less pro-gun than a lot of you guys, seeing as I’m not at all, so feel free to explain in the comments why this isn’t the bad idea I’m thinking it is. Good thing I only travel by piggyback!

UPDATE: Ok wait, this is why I shouldn’t be doing any reading or writing before 10 AM and by that I mean noon because upon rereading I’m realizing that this is only allowing unloaded and locked handguns in checked baggage. That’s so much less big word here. But it brings me to an important topic. Which do you think are cuter: ducklings or puppies?

Puppy 321 1-26-08

duckling

Things I would rather do than clean my room

Written by Alison | March 31st, 2008 at 2:32 pm | Comments

1. Stare at the mess

2. Write a blog post in list form

c. Entertain myself by going back and forth between numbers and letters

IV. Okay, now that’s going too far.

V. I said too far. Roman numeral humor is only funny to marble statues.

6. Listen to music (New Pornographers right now)

7. But I could totally clean while listening to music. That was the original plan.

8. To be fair, I did clean off my desk.

9. But some of it just got relocated to my bed.

10. Did I ever tell you that after college I slept for a number of months on a bed with a drawer full of crap sitting on one corner of the bed? It’s because we took the drawer out of the desk to make room for a filing cabinet or something, and didn’t have anywhere to put the drawer, so I set it on the bed and just learned to work around it. Also, at this time I had one of those wooden duck phones a la Silver Spoons that quacked when it rang—also its eyes lit up— but it didn’t sound like a duck. It sounded like Satan. It was really terrible. Anyway, I remember I was talking on the duck phone, sitting on the bed with the drawer nearby, setting up an interview for Rolling Stone or something and anyway I remember Wendy visited me that day and she said “Do you think anyone, when they’re talking to you, pictures you working in this environment?”

11. Okay, she didn’t say “environment” but that was the gist. And no, I don’t think they realized. I also don’t think people knew how young I was when I started. Except that I was really nice/eager, which gets beaten out of you quick.

12. Not me, I’m still nice/eager, except when I’m a total hardened bitch, but I mean, it gets beaten out of you.

13. No drawer on my bed today though. So you see: progress.

14. I’ve been in better moods.

15. I’ve also been in worse.

16. I have a lot of cords. And a lot of little thingies that I doubt I’ll ever use. Like do I need these various international plugs for my blackberry charger? I don’t think so. But it’s not like I can just throw them out, you know? Because you know what happens when you throw them out? You wake up in Paris without a cell phone cursing the last time you cleaned your room. Not making THAT mistake again.

17. I met Mo Rocca this morning. I was having a breakfast meeting, because that’s how I do, and the guy I was meeting knew Mo Rocca and anyway I was introduced and I said “I’m a fan,” because I am, and Mo seemed genuinely touched at my fandom. At my fanship? It’s interesting because were I Mo I would probably say something like “As well you should be” or something equally obnoxious.

18. Actually, that’s not true. Sometimes I say stuff like “Oh my Gosh, thanks!” but then this one time I got trapped at a party by someone who told me I was funny and I said “Oh my Gosh, thanks!” and then the person was like “what, are you surprised to find out you’re funny? you sound like you don’t think you are!”

19. It was an aggressive sort of complementary encounter.

20. I know I’m funny.

21. Perhaps not in this list.

22. The music stopped.

23. Mess still messy.

24. But I do feel we’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.

25. Don’t you?

26. Sorry, can’t hear you, thinking about myself again.

27. My sister had a barking dog phone, which also didn’t sound like a dog. When the phone rang in that house, it sounded like the caterwauling of the undead.

28. If the undead sounded vaguely like a dog and a duck.

29. The title of this post makes me sound 14.

30. Which is cool. Young is in.

31. Okay, I should really find new procrastination music.

I can’t sleep

Written by Alison | March 11th, 2008 at 11:48 pm | Comments

Stupid jet lag and time change. But the real winner is you, blog readers, because I thought I’d use my inability to go to sleep to make a list of things I could be doing with this time! Here goes:

1) making a list of things I could be doing instead of sleeping
2) wishing I were sleeping
3) looking at the clock and thinking about how many hours it is until I have to be up
4) counting stuff
5) not sheep!
6) waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dark
7) wishing I were sleeping
8) being repetitive
9) repeating myself
10) oh I did not
11) no, I did
12) I see that now
13) so sleepy
14) kinda have to go to the bathroom
15) going to the bathroom
16) coming back

Appliance interruptus

Written by Alison | February 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am | Comments

I woke up this morning sleep-blogging, or rather sleep-storming, or rather thinking about fodder for a potential blog post which struck me as brilliant in my not-awake state. It would have looked like this:

Very Specific Reassurances

1. They can’t vacuum forever.

2. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (this is where I fell back asleep again)

Sadly I can’t see the appeal of this list beyond people whose upstairs neighbors vacuum for what seems like forever early in the morning.

In other news, I added to the list of articles I wrote recently and list of articles I wrote long ago (on the right side of this blog). It really breaks down to stuff I wrote for Time Out New York and stuff I wrote for the OC Weekly, so maybe some day I’ll change the way it’s labeled. The TONY stuff shows more restraint, but overall the OC Weekly stuff is probably more fun to read—arguably more creative—and I don’t quite know why that is. That’s not true actually, I do know why it is, but I’m still unsettled by it.

The irony!

Written by Alison | January 4th, 2008 at 11:00 am | Comments

So I have this free SAT Question of the Day 2008 desk calendar because someone at work didn’t want it and I like to keep my mind agile and nimble like a high school sophomore. Or maybe junior? All I remember from the test is that the guy in front of me had dreadlocks and they smelled. Anyway, so I have this calendar which should go on the list of things where I think “ooh, that’ll be fun!” and they really aren’t* except this one has been not that unfun so far. The irony though? I can answer the questions but I can’t figure out how to get the calendar to stand upright on my desk like it’s supposed to.

*the ultimate “ooh that’ll be fun” idea that wasn’t at all fun and the realization of its lack of fun was all but immediate? my sister and I were standing on a subway platform waiting forever and I said “hey, I have a fun idea! let’s look through our cell phone phone books and remember how we met each person!”

Oh and I’ll be doing another movie segment on Red Eye tonight!


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