Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Archive for the ‘phlegm’ Category

How I take cough syrup

Written by Alison | December 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm | Comments

[A word about what I'm wearing: Sometimes I like to put on everything I get for Xmas as I get it, hence the necklace with tags. Also, I like to tie bows around my head as I'm opening. Also, I'm not wearing any makeup in these photos, and how!]


1) First I pour it in a spoon.

2) Next, I swallow it.

3) Then I freak out.

Today’s TONYblog 1 Thing

Written by Alison | July 2nd, 2007 at 11:36 am | Comments

Culture jam

Greetings, my little string beans. I had a particularly disgusting weekend as I was the victim of a pernicious new wave of street crime. Little shits on bikes spit loogies at me! I suffered a ride-by phlegming! Allow me to recount for you: So there I was, walking unawares down Avenue B. It was around 9:40pm. I heard the sound of bikes to my left and I also heard the sound of phlegm collection which is that dry-to-wet kind of throat clearing, coughing up sound which is not unlike when your hard drive is doing something loud and you realize there’s something wrong with your computer. I greeted this sound with slight trepidation and a bit of nausea, as I have a real visceral reaction to street loogies glistening on the sidewalk like so much throat snot. Actually, it’s not just visceral, it’s intellectual too, Read the rest of this entry »

| Posted in 1 thing, TONYblog, music, phlegm