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Archive | las vegas

"Hey, your Vegas is showing…"

Is this really the best the Nevada tourism council could come up with? I’m suddenly seeing a bunch of commercials with it again and it sounds more like an unfortunate medical condition than an enticement to come to Las Vegas. Actually, it makes the also kinda lame “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” sound like poetry. Also, it sounds like something someone would say before going on air. In fact, I’m going to drop it into my litany of self-consciousness next time:

How’m I doing? Is my hair okay? Is my jacket okay? Anything weird going on in this section? (waving hands over entire torso). Any muffin top action? Is my Vegas showing? What about my third nipple?

Can you see my goiter? I tried to hide it with goiter-off but I think it’s just making it show more. What about the giant scar I have running from my extra toe to my vestigial tail. Is it showing? Can you see where I had to have that thing frozen off? Correction, things.

Are you sure my Vegas isn’t showing? Okay phew.

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