Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Archive for the ‘HIGHLY SPECIFIC INSULTS’ Category


Written by Alison | August 12th, 2007 at 7:17 pm | Comments

THE SITUATION: you’re dealing with a really annoying egg
YOU SAY: “get luteinized and slough off!”

THE SITUATION: those are some mighty big forecepts
YOU SAY: “forecepts? more like fivecepts!”

THE SITUATION: you’re 93 and you’re playing pinochle with someone who is really crappy
YOU SAY: “you play pinochole like an 81 year old… an 81 year old who’s never played pinochle”

THE SITUATION: the damn hen is taking forever
YOU SAY: “you gonna hatch those chicks or just sit on ‘em all day?”

THE SITUATION: the piano player is smug and tinkly
YOU SAY: “you play piano like a tuba player”

THE SITUATION: the Queen is acting uppity again
YOU SAY: “is that your dress or did your bustle throw up?”

THE SITUATION: the Grape Nuts have betrayed you
YOU SAY: “et tu, Grape Nuts?”

THE SITUATION: you’re angry at your corn flakes
YOU SAY: “what are you, Grape Nuts?”