Archive for the ‘dogs’ Category
Allow me to regale you with a story about flossing
It was time for my bi-annual flossing so I put on my flossing outfit (coconuts, sweatpants, a turban) and went to town and now there’s a metallic, bloody taste happening on the upper right side of my mouth and I don’t like it. Also, there is some pain. Nothing I can’t handle since my pain tolerance is nothing short of superhuman however, but still.
Ok, to be honest, I floss every day. I only put on my flossing outfit twice a year though, so I wasn’t completely telling an untruth.
The pain is not going away. Arguably it’s getting worse. Perhaps the way I was like “ow that hurts, I’m going to do it again, ow that still hurts, I’m going to do it again, yep, still painful, I’m going to do it again,” wasn’t very wise.
In other news I found out last night that Button, the dog I’ve been obsessed with has an adoption pending. I’m happy for Button but sad for me! And then I think: How could I really have become attached to a photo of a dog? And then I think: Wait, if I can become attached to a photo of a dog, maybe I should just get a photo of a dog instead of a dog? I’d put Button’s photo here so you could see how adorable this dog was however it’s no longer on Petfinder and I never copied the photos. It’s kind of tragic!
The Daily Alison (Day 4; Wherein I talk to Doug Benson about his butt and Broadway)
The careful reader will notice that today I changed the title to The Daily Alison instead of The Daily Rosen. I’m still not sold on the name though, I’m just lazy in terms of coming up with something better.
Today’s guest is Doug Benson! I bet you didn’t know that he’s a theater buff. No, I really think you didn’t. Don’t lie! You didn’t. You did not! Just stop.
Some links? Okay:
I feel like such a link whore right now. And yet I’m a link whore of my own doing. I’m going to go ponder that.
Perhaps you’ll be able to love me on a daily basis
Attention folks: I think I might try to do a vlog every day for a little while to see what happens. If I were smart I’d just do a vlog every day and not announce it ahead of time since there’s a very real chance that I will get abducted by a roving pack of feral goldendoodles and won’t ever get around to this daily vlog thing since I’ll be living by my wits and won’t have a pot to piss in or two pennies to rub together and I’ll have to use my cunning and my resemblance to a goldendoodle to get by. I hardly look like a goldendoodle either, which I don’t mean in a way like: hey, look at me, I’m too beautiful to be half poodle, I just mean my hair is neither golden nor doodley.
So yeah, it’s potentially going to get a lot more me-filled around these parts. Just thought you should know and celebrate accordingly.
Alison wants to adopt a dog; Dustin can’t tell the difference between women and antelope
Look you guys: a video! This is from a few weeks ago. Dustin and I went to a comedy show and then got dinner and then felt like we should be vlogging since it was Sunday (God’s vlog day) and so we turned on the camera. And then I just left this footage on my camera while I went on my merry way, being merry and patting gnomes on the head and sewing dresses out of curtains while little birds helped by holding up the excess of fabric and cutting the thread with their beaks. Perhaps you are wondering why there’s so much laughter at the beginning? That’s because Dustin was going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about something Important To Him and then I responded by talking about puppies which he took to mean I hadn’t been listening but au contraire, Dustin! Ye of little faith! And if you enjoy this, hang on to you your hat because there’s another one coming wherein I almost sneeze. Truly! Look for that in the next couple days (I’m being realistic about my un-awesomeness.)
Pics from Friday’s Red Eye and other stuff
Here’s where I said that I think ducklings are cute.
And then here’s where I said that I used to hate bell peppers but now I like them, can you believe it?
And then here’s where I said that I’m drinking coffee out of a new mug which is sort of low and wide and has polka dots on it and after I bought it I found out that it’s not a coffee mug at all, it’s an “ice cream mug.” I’m using it for coffee anyway because I don’t play by the rules.
And then here’s where I said that while scientists inventing a glow in the dark puppy is somewhat cool, it’s yet another example of science being out of step with public demand because have they made any progress on a time machine?
But see, I actually think I have a pretty good understanding of the significance of this transgenic dog—and it has very little to do with the fact that it glows in the dark, and everything to do with the fact that they took something from a sea anemone and put it into a dog and got it to act the same way in a dog that it does in a sea anemone (i.e. glow) and this has huge ramifications for one day doing stuff like taking the genetic material that produces my lustrous hair and putting it in a dog and then creating a dog with amazing Alison hair and then studying it. And maybe I should have talked about that instead of time travel? I just don’t want people playing God with my hair though.
Oh, and when did all this G.D. business start? In my day we just said God Damn. Or Golly Gee. Or Gee Willikers. Or For Fuck’s Sake.
Also, I think I’m becoming a regular at a restaurant in my neighborhood and the last time I went I mentioned to Dustin that I was considering ordering the same thing I always order (braised loafer with pennies) and maybe I should branch out and he said that I could become a “regular” ordering my “regular” and I’ve never been one of those! Maybe it’s time? Then of course I entertained ideas of being an eccentric old lady who always comes into this restaurant and sits at a certain table and orders a certain thing and does something eccentric. What would it be though? I’d have to be small and unassuming probably, yet have contributed something notable to culture such as a series of detective novels featuring a female detective and her companion who happens to be a gecko with paranormal insight. What’s that called when a witch has an animal that has powers? Her second? Her minor? Her… um… hold while I consult with my friend, the internet. Her familiar! Yes, that’s what I mean.
Do I have other things to share with you at this time? Hm. On twitter I’ve been posting links to dogs I’m falling in love with. Here are two, however don’t let that stop you from following me on twitter because I base my self-worth on my follower numbers.
I’m on Red Eye tonight; dogs
Remember how I was going to be on tomorrow night? Well I’m on tonight! Yay!
Also: I’m closer and closer to actually getting a puppy if by closer and closer you mean still kind of far away but seriously thinking about it. What kind should I get? Let’s all weigh in because not only will it be helpful and fun, but who doesn’t like talking about dogs? Assholes, that’s who!
Anyway, I’m looking for a small dog (under 10 lbs) that isn’t a jerk and has a working knowledge of social media. Some experience with video editing a plus but not a requirement. Preferably this dog will have four legs and a face. I’m not averse to poodles. I’m just not, though I’m averse to giving them silly haircuts. I like puppies. I’m not looking exclusively for a purebred and I’d like to get a dog from a shelter so I can feel good about myself however I’m beginning to suspect that the cute little puppies get adopted in two seconds flat, meaning the dogs that I would want are going to have no problem getting adopted, and it’s the hulking pitbulls with ads like “adopt this sweet little girl!” that sit in the shelter for awhile and the whole thing just makes me sad and makes me think of that commercial where Sarah Mclachlan sings and they show dogs making puppy dog eyes and I always change the channel quickly because it makes me sad and reminds me of the time I stupidly watched a video of dogs being euthanized because I was writing an article on pets and anyway, I’m still haunted by it and try not to think about it. All that being said, I don’t want to adopt sweet little 85 lb Sadie whose owner surrendered her (“we don’t know why, she couldn’t be sweeter! she’s a rambunctious bundle of energy looking for a forever home with lots of discipline, love and no children or other pets.”)
What was I saying? Oh yeah, I don’t know. Dogs, puppies, Red Eye.
Oh and I think my pithy bon mots are in the current issue of Life & Style in the Slip-ups section. I haven’t seen it yet though.
Adorable Tobey shots
My mom just sent these to me. In other news I cooked bell peppers tonight and now my whole apartment smells really bell peppery. Ok fine, I actually also cooked them the night before and the night before. I’m not one for variety. For example, I was hoping all my clothes, like every last garment would smell like a bell pepper and I’m pretty sure I got my wish.
Tobey channels golden age of recording
Reader Kathy Lang on Facebook pointed out something I hadn’t noticed! See below.
