[UPDATE: The following was a real chat with an old Orange County friend, not someone I'm dating. I thought it was amusing. I should have clarified because I can see how if you read it thinking it's someone I'm currently in a relationship with it would appear to be a raw deal as opposed to what it was: just a friendly future marriage proposal.]

him: if you’re 40 and still not married AND you just happen to move back to the OC, call me
me: are you offering to be my backup?
him: yes, in fact, i am
me: or are you suggesting that I would be your backup
him: no no no. i have no desire to get married (right now). but when you get old n stuff…eh, maybe..
me: yeah, old n stuff
him: the real question here is: do you want children? and by children, i mean – a small yardwork workforce
me: yes I do. I’m glad we’re getting all this out of the way before I turn 40
him: you are running out of time
me: thank you