Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Let’s talk about freezers

Written by Alison | August 4th, 2011 at 12:30 pm | Comments

See what I mean?

While rummaging around my boyfriend’s freezer (for the body parts) I came across something which instantly brought me back to when I had my own freezer and lived like a true adult—a freezer having adult—as opposed to the lives-at-home-overgrown-baby-woman-child situation I now proudly find myself in. (But not for long, I just turned in an application on an apartment!) Anyway, what I came across which brought me back to my own days as a young man was this: a fuckload of ice trays. How does this happen? How is it that you either only have zero ice trays or 11? And that’s not even counting novelty seasonal ice cube trays of which I’ve had my share. Please share your theories in the comments. It’s time to get to the bottom of the tray hoarding. (For ARIYNBF fans, this is kind of a “Just Me Or Everyone?”)

  • Freezer Mom

    As mother of that freezer......I am basking in nostalgia right now. The entire family...we all are shaking our heads knowingly. We needed the laugh, this will go into the family album....still laughing....can't stop laughing. You are such a delight.

  • The Summer of George

    The real problem is that Europe doesn't even HAVE ice cubes.  It's the worst place in the world.

    When I was there I fell through a roof.

  • The40yearoldvirgin

    dude alot of comments on the ice! any way alison for his next gift get him one of those buckets he can empty the ice into, and get rid of all but one tray!

  • jason

    wtf get a real man with an ice maker like me ;) that kills all that used up freezer space. before i got an ice maker i used maybe 3 ice trays.

  • When I had a shitty apartment with a shitty apartment freezer (no ice maker) I only had one Ice tray. Most frustrating thing ever. At least once a day I would find myself drinking warm fruit punch whilst waiting for the cloudy tap water to form into cloudy ice cubes. A "fuckload" of ice trays is practical. I wish I had that kind of foresight. 

  • TrappDog

    There's a lesson here guys. Your girlfriend can't wait to get her grubby hands into your freezer.

  • boinkity

    TrappDog... where have you been?!?! Did you get a girlfriend with grubby hands too?!?!

  • TrappDog

    My girlfriend's name is Frau Blucher. She often gets me a brandy before retiring, or some warm milk perhaps. If all else fails, Ovaltine. I've been working a lot. I'll be around more soon! Miss all you guys!

  • mugby


  • BruceF

    God I don't miss ice trays one bit.  I always had asshole roommates that would empty the trays but never refill them and they would usually put them back in the freezer empty or with maybe one ice cube remaining. There must have been a hidden camera setup in the freezer to capture my disappointment to find that one cube remaining. So thankful to have an ice maker, and no more asshole roommates!

  • Andrew

    First off, Men don't buy "Novelty Ice Cube Trays". Ice is not a novelty, it's serious business.Second, People with only 1 ice cube tray aren't people to be trusted. They are loners or misanthropes. what kind of person doesn't enjoy sharing an icy cold beverage with a friend or guest?  I'll tell you what kind, A hermit or serial killer! (Fact: John Wayne Gacy only had 1 ice cube tray in his freezer). Stovanovitch's ice cube tray inverse corollary states that the greater the number of ice cube trays a man posesses the more kind, generous, trustworthy, loyal and deserving of sex he is. Studies have shown multiple ice cube trayed men are more likely to remember birthdays and anniversaries, give more thoughtfull gifts, ask for directions, father more attractive intelligent children and have more ice. They are also less likely to drink milk out of the carton, sit around in their underpants and watch football, leave dirty socks on the bedroom or bathroom floor, and run out of ice. Judging from the copious amount of ice cube trays your new Beau has he is in fact quite the catch. Congrats on winning the Man Lottery!


  • First of all, why would you consider someone that didn't have an ice maker to be worthy boyfriend material? Secondly, well, the "first of all" is enough.  You should have had all of this information from your original questionaire or been a part of his background check.  Skippertten. (Bella says Hi and wants you to give her regards to Tobey)

  • Janoscz Poha

    Hmm, I just chip off the frost that builds up in the back of the freezer. I'm learning to be quite the ice sculptor.

  • Max

    He needs to toss a hundred bucks at a countertop icemaker.  If he really cares about you, he'll click through Amazon.

  • Andrew

    Autoamtic ice makers are a breeding ground for disease and germs.The ice cube tray can be placed in the dishwasher and sanatized thus insuring the girlfirend does not suffer the ill effect of any waterborne parasites or pathogens

  • Leftyobeeson

    Most readers are thinking, "What is an ice tray? "

  • People always go for backups, like they just want to be sure, or they don't want to be caught without.

  • People always go for backups, maybe they worry one or two isn't enough or just don't want to be without.

  • TheSloop

    I get it.

  • Jose

    Ice is awesome. One or two trays doesn't make enough ice.

  • Rob Vega

    I had the same problem except mine were always empty and were either broken or cracked.

  • Dahno

    What I question is the need for such a variety of so-called ice "cubes". Let's see, starting on the left there are three trays worth of the micro cube trays (quick freezers, that lot, I'd wager). Then some weird half breed half moon silicon and plastic jobbie - these probably get cloudy on the interior portion and clear and melty on the outside curve (possibly employed in some kind of shenanigans). Finally, the stack o'garden variety models (with a hybrid thrown in the mix) - for the classic go-to trapezoidal cube. So, what gives? Can this man pick an "ice cube" and stick with it or does he always have to have "a selection to choose from cuz my frozen water situational needs vary, man"?

  • Matt L

    Buy a foil pan ( think like the kind people make gross meatloaf in).  Fill the ice trays every night before bed and empty them into the pan every morning then refill.  You will cut down on your ice tray needs (max 3 needed) and still have enough for your 10 cocktails each night.

  • rhys1882

    I ended up with a ton of ice trays before because every time I moved I kept packing up the ice trays from the fridge as if they were regular kitchen items, not realizing you are really supposed to leave them for the next tenant.  Then I'd move into a new place and the fridge would already have ice trays.

  • Gary

    I'm one of those fancy people whose refrigerator has an ice maker.  Don't hate! 

  • R.E. Dynamite

    I have four Ice cube trays because I drink my whisky with 2 cubes.

  • My husband and I have about 7 ice cube trays.  However, we only USE one.  The other six have been emptied and never re-filled for months now, yet they remain in the freezer.  I don't get it...and I don't try to.

  • Plusminusequals

    I find myself in this dude's situation. I was spoiled growing up by a refrigerator with an automatic ice machine, and now that i'm all growns up in my own apartment which LACKS that luxury, I NEED there to be ice on demand. All the time. 24/7. I have a few trays in my freezer and I'm also the type of person that fills one up the second i've vanquished every cubic foe but what if I have company?! What if by some 90's music video happenstance a clown car of people with flat tops show up at my door ready to party?! I'll be prepared, that's what.

    I wouldn't look into it very much, Rosen. You should put your efforts into finding the Dexter freezer full of chopped up body parts. 

  • Ben

    One problem is you can't just buy a single ice tray. Most come in packs of four or more. The other thing is I feel most people moving out of an apartment in to a house will most likely have an ice machine. They are probably refugees from former tenants.

  • Psionicprophet

    I got tired of filling ice trays and started buying bags of ice...looking at how those are stacked, they appear to empty.....which is why I started buying bags of ice!!

  • Jumbo Jack-son

    I'm guessing that he lived through the Great Ice Shortage of 1995....

  • ExtraStout

    I don't have time to listen to 8 hours of Ace podcast every week.  When did AR get a boyfriend?  Is it one of the guys from the contest they were having?

  • boinkity

    She just got her boyfriend a couple of weeks ago. She's not all in our face bout it, so I bet you aren't the only one that didn't know she has a boyfriend. I am trying to convince Alison to end her daily News with, "I got a boyfriend now, bitches!" instead of her normal, "zip it, cunts!!"

  • Jack

    I have a lot of iced trays because I like to make iced team from scratch, and that takes a lot of ice.

  • Kate

    I'm thinking you both have social lives that involve the consuption of beverages with friends?

  • mugby

    Just you and your boyfriend. Weirdos

  • Doesn't exactly answer your "Just Me Or Everyone" question but check out this tray! (and the craptastic pun)

    Now you know what to get him for your anniversary. You're welcomed.

  • Quite the food selection he's got there. Not even a damn box of Hot Pockets or anything?

  • T-Bird

    "boyfriend"!?!?  How gay!  (Not gay in that you have someone to call 'boyfriend', just gay in that you actually call him your 'boyfriend')

    As far as ice trays are concerned, in my experience, having a fuckload of them means he has a drinking problem and makes a lot of cocktails at his place.  Or possibly that he used to cook crystal meth in them.  Or he could have some weird mental defect where he keeps forgetting he already has a metric shit-ton of ice cube trays.
    Either way, he's a keeper.

  • But I had a million trays as well and I hardly ever use ice. (I'm a weird warm soda gal myself)

  • T-Bird

    Oh wow, Alison responded....TO ME!
    I'm going to print out this page and frame it.

    Also, Adam is right and this 'graphic artist' isn't good enough for you (as if anyone is..)

  • boinkity

    weird warm soda gal?!?  (is it possible that Alison's boyfriend is too good for her?!?!)

  • Haha!

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