Archive for April, 2011
Poster outside Irvine Improv last night
I felt somewhat deeply uncool standing in front of this and taking a photo of it but I did it anyway. Also, they spelled Bryan’s name wrong but spelled mine correctly. He should prob just change the spelling of his name.
Another excerpt from my fake pregnancy memoir
Excerpt from What I’d Expect if I Were Expecting, Chapter 2: Mercury in Retrograde (and also in sushi)
Last night I was really looking forward to meeting the gals for some much needed gal time. That was before I knew they wanted to meet for sushi though. SUSHI?!?!?! Oh, I could just see it:
“And what will the obviously very pregnant lady have?”
“I’ll have the spicy deformed baby roll with the cleft palate dipping sauce.”
I don’t think so! What’s next, a raw cheese course followed by formaldehyde shots and thalidomide chasers? I didn’t make a big deal of it though, I just nibbled on my edamame (unsalted, please, and keep it coming) and drank my sparkling water. I couldn’t fault my single friends. It wasn’t that long ago that I, too, was selfish and only lived for myself.
But when you’re super pregnant, if you have friends who are willing to be seen in public with you, grab on to them and never let go! Table for six? More like table for 8 if you count my cankles! And seriously, why the weight gain? I mean, I know it’s nature’s way of keeping men away so you don’t get pregnant when you’re already pregnant and end up like my slutty friend Carol who had triplets, one of whom is Asian, but couldn’t you just give me frizzy hair instead? Oh wait, looks like you already did! Trimester? More like try to do anything with this hair, LOL!!!!!!
Upcoming chapters include:
“Don’t piss on my leg and tell me my water broke”
“What’s a mucus plug and where’s the outlet?”
“My ankles are too fat to kickbox with God”
This is not a vlog but love it anyway, won’t you?
Okay so I didn’t record a vlog after tonight’s show but I did this teaser video at the studio tonight so that’s almost the same, right?
affiliate.