Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Lunchtime interview #1: Kristan, Subway hater; meat purist

I used to do a column where I’d interview co-workers about their lunch. It was possibly the most popular thing I ever did, which is weird. Still, I’ve decided to give the people what they want by bringing it back.  The column needs a name though. Ideas? When I did it on the TONY blog I used to call it “Hey… You Gonna Eat That?” but I feel like a fresh name might be in order. Or maybe not. Anyway, here’s the first one. Read it with a side of ranch.

Today we’re chatting with the lovely Kristan Sydboten, 22, who’s a hairstylist in Hattiesburg, Mississippi and who, according to her Twitter bio, is “smarter than you think.” Apparently so because she gamed the system by sending in a photo of her friend’s lunch instead of her own! Shifty!

Not Kristan’s Lunch

Alison: So wait, you didn’t eat this Chinese food?

Kristan: No, I had Subway. Do you want me to pretend I ate her lunch?

I can’t lie to my readers about something like this. How was Subway?

I hate Subway!  All the girls at work wanted Subway so I had to go there. I got a roast beef sandwich on white bread with lettuce, tomato and light mayo and when I went thru the drive thru I was like, “I have three separate orders. Is that ok?” She said it was fine so I gave her the orders and then she yelled, “Next time you have three separate orders you should come inside!” My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. It’s a bad day anyway but I couldn’t believe she yelled at me!

Evidence

Is this why you hate Subway?

No. I don’t really like sandwiches all that much.

Not even PB&J or bologna?

I just have a thing about Subway. I don’t really get along with my mom and she always wants Subway, that might be it.

What does she usually get there?

Probably something weird with more than one meat on it. I don’t like to mix meats. I’m not a meat mixer.

What would be the worst combination of mixed meat ever?

Anything and bacon. I don’t like pig. Is roast beef pig? I don’t even want to know. [pause] Oh, beef, right.

How was the sandwich?

It wasn’t  so bad. It definitely wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted sushi. My friend whose photo I sent you had sushi and Chinese but she already ate the sushi so I sent in a photo of the Chinese.

Did your friend seem to be enjoying it?

Yeah, she did. Thoroughly. Her client brought it to her.

Do your clients ever bring you lunch?

Usually they bring me homegrown tomatoes or cupcakes.

On a scale of 1 to 6 how many stars would you give this meal?

A solid 2. Edible but not what I wanted.

Come back tomorrow (ish) as we catch up with Kara whose attempts at procuring a tuna melt are being thwarted at every turn!