Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

On tonight’s ARIYNBF

Written by Alison | July 21st, 2010 at 3:27 pm | Comments

Here’s Jenna Kim Jones and I looking effortlessly cool on a recent show

Tonight’s show is going to be a big happening. A real don’t-miss-this kinda rocking good time. The kind of thing that your friends will be talking about long after it’s over and if you miss out you will feel like a real dipshit. Do you want to feel like that? I don’t think so. Did you know that once my mom and dad and sister went to Vienna without me and they still talk about it, sometimes forgetting that I wasn’t there? Assholes, I tell you.

Anyway, I didn’t send out the regular Facebook invite thing because I suck and I’m fine with that. On tonight’s show, writer/comedian/Daily Show staffer Jenna Kim Jones, whom you know from her appearances on my show in New York will be on the show because she’s in California as well and how cool is that that we’re both here? Exactly. Also on the show? Paul Layton who over the years has been referred to as “cute Paul” behind his back. I like to throw it in his face. He plays guitar and sings and I’m not quite sure the exact style of his upcoming EP. When I last heard him he was playing some glammy poppy kind of awesome stuff. You love that.

So tune in tonight at 7pm PT/10pm ET. DO IT!

| Posted in old ARIYNBF

  • TrappDog
    Another knockout Alison Rosen show! It was great to see Jenna Kim Jones again, and Paul Layton was yet another talented songwriter from the Alison stable of stars. I enjoyed his acoustic songs.

    I wish I could have been in on the conversation about writing the song for the fantasy girl who doesn't know you're alive, a truly hopeless endeavor! While I guess I'll have to allow for the possible exception to the rule, I think it's the sort of thing that works great in the movies, but unfortunately, not in real life. I'm quite sympathetic because I've been there too, but allow me to share the little bit of wisdom that I have. The likely results are:

    1. Too much, too soon.
    Other women, who aren't involved, think it's sweet, but the object of the infatuation doesn't really know what to think, and will be put off by the desperation of it. Your only chance is to sit on the song and try to ask her out the standard way. If she isn't interested in the first place, the song won't make a difference.

    2. Rebound Guy
    Another possibility is that if you catch her at the right time, she might go for you as the rebound guy, but this is usually doomed to failure as well. The song might make her feel like she should go out with you in appreciation, but this will likely end up a short-lived whirlwind romance, with you feeling disillusioned. And of course you will be. Who are we kidding? The guy who writes the fantasy song isn't being a player, he wants the whole enchilada. The trouble is, while he thinks he's writing a song about her, he's really writing about his fantasy.

    In conclusion, you're doomed. No, that's not it.

    As I said, sit on the song. Giving the gift of a song is not unlike giving flowers and candy. It will mean the most not when it's expected at the start of a relationship, nor on special anniversaries or holidays, but much later, when you've been together for a while, and for no reason at all. You want to knock her out? Give her the song 5 years into the relationship. You might learn something about yourself too. If you're that crazy about her after the novelty has worn off, then you've really got something.

    P.S. And now you know why I don't bother with any of that anymore. I just write songs for Alison Rosen. She gives me great topics to write about, she has perfect instincts about how to use them, she receives gifts so gracefully that you want to give her more gifts, and of course, she's a genius, and the future of TV. It's a win-win all the way around. I'm happy, she's happy, you're happy, Tobey's happy, everybody's happy, happy happy happy..
  • This episode goin include some pwnage?
  • I don't even know what that means, so... probably?
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