On tonight's Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Tonight’s show is a mere five hours away! Can you even hardly wait? My stomach is full of butterflies and my to-do lists are full of notes. Seriously, I don’t know how this is happening but instead of getting stuff done, I’m just generating lists. Perhaps my guest Andrew W.K. can help me with said problem because in addition to being a rock star he’s a motivational speaker and a club owner and a party maven. Seriously, he posts party tips on twitter often and they are both funny and profound.

So I have this idea that I want to have a BATTLE OF THE FANS with him where we pit our fans against one another because everyone loves a competition including me. I win! I just won, you guys! I didn’t even know I was playing!

I’m trying to figure out the best way to do this. Option 1: somehow I get one of my fans on the phone and one of his fans and then we quiz them. Option 2: We ask questions and fans chime in in the chat room and we see whose fans take longer to respond. If anyone has a feeling about which way would be better, make that feeling known. I think they both will work. But regardless, you should all be brushing up on your Rosen vs. W.K. trivia.

And also, I will phone-a-fan! And Koryn will stop by! And Dustin will be here! And there will be deleted tweets! And Just Me Or Everyone? And TV Time! And results from week 4 of The Dating Experiment! And a new song!

And I shouldn’t be the only one whose dating life is public and pitiful. If you’re having trouble finding that special someone, write in to the show and explain your situation and I will help you find love because that’s what best friends do. Or at the very least I will maybe read your email on the air. Hey, that’s something! Write to: alisonrosenisyournewbestfriend [at] gmail [dot] com. Put “I’m a catch” in the subject line. Do it! It will feel good.

And I’m happy to announce my second sponsor! It’s Saxton Manufacturing Co. They make ecofriendly water treatment products and ecofriendly water softeners and they also make drinking water filtration systems and they also used to have a duck named Quackers that wore a bonnet. And they won an Oscar for the design and manufacture of a silver recovery system for the motion picture industry! But back to the duck, they had to release the duck in a nearby park eventually because it was making too much noise and neighbors were complaining! But Quackers didn’t want to leave her human family. It’s so sad! (Eventually it worked out and Quackers went on to lead a wonderful life in the park with other ducks, I am sure!)

Saxton Manufacturing Co doesn’t normally sell directly to the end user (that’s you) but because they want to do a nice thing for the viewers of  my show, they’ll hook you up with whatever system you need at dealer cost which is roughly 60% off list. So if your water is bugging you, now you know who to call. In fact, I think that should be their slogan. For more info or for free hard water testing strips (I want these just to play with) email Saxtonar [at] gmail [dot] com and say you watch my show!

Man alive I am good at sales! I  just cold called myself and closed like six deals. Then I wheeled and dealed for an additional twenty minutes and then I won employee of the month! (That’s where they send you a different employee each month.)

Okay, see you tonight!!!!

Oh and also, I will be on Red Eye tomorrow, so write that shit down.