Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Million dollar yogurt idea

Written by Alison | November 1st, 2009 at 9:55 am | Comments

I’ve been thinking a lot about how there are antibiotics, which are good for you according to doctors, and there are things which are probiotic, which are good for you according to people who hawk yogurt.

But see my whole life I’ve grown up with an awareness of antibiotics but this probiotic thing is something new and flashy and it sounds more like marketing than science.

So I was thinking that maybe everything anti should also have a pro version? For example:

Probodies

Procoagulant

Protidote

Profreeze

Promatter

Procipate

Proconvulsive

Naturally all of these will be sold in yogurt, so if you are any sort of yogurt proprietor (or antiprietor)  you should make room on your shelf!

| Posted in Uncategorized, lists

  • Catchphrase: Yogurt. It's the Miracle Grow of intestinal flora.

  • I like the proconvulsive idea, nothing like a good siezure to start off your day. I could just imagine mixing them prodepressants. That would make for an awesome day siezures, crying, and self loathing. Also, I endorse the idea of proxidants, I'm for anything that will promote cell damage.

  • Ted_Goodlove

    Okay this is a serious thread stealing comment:

    Let's say, we were all at the RosenFan club luncheon and there was a DJ.....the floor was being opened up for dancing....if you had the chance of a lifetime to dance with Alison...what song would you pick?

    Ted: I'd walk up to her and say, "Want to dance kid?" She'd glance at me, smile and say, "yes!" I'd lead her to the dance floor, the lights would go dim and the DJ would play "Smoke gets in your eyes" by the Platters

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    What says you?

  • Joe

    That's a good question, Ted. If I were at the luncheon, I'd spot Alison across the room and slowly walk over to her....

    Joe: Hey doll, wanna dance?
    Alison: Who's asking?
    Joe: I'm asking
    Alison (playing hard to get): I don't think so
    Joe: You don't know what you're missing
    Alison: I think I do
    Joe: What if I told you my favorite TV show is The Facts of Life?
    Alison: Really???

    Just then the music would begin and we'd start dancing to "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

    Oh, my love
    My darling
    I've hungered for your touch
    A long lonely time
    And time goes by so slowly
    And time can do so much
    Are you still mine?
    I need your love
    I need your love
    Godspeed your love to me...

    Then I'd plant a big wet one on her lips!

  • Ted_Goodlove

    Clever Clever McDonald and Boink! I can tell you guys have had prior success with this "Facts of Life" routine....I'll have to try that next week at the club!

  • boinkity

    You guys suck!

    If it were me, I'd do it like this:

    Boinkity: Hi Alison, it's been great finally meeting you.
    Alison: Yes, I know it's been a pleasure for you!
    Boinkity: Uh, yes it has. I was wondering, would you dance the next song with me?
    Alison: Uh, I think I shouldn't. I don't wanna make Ted or Joe jealous. You know those crazy kids.
    Boinkity: I understand, but I assure you, they won't be jealous.
    Alison: Well... I'm not sure.
    Boinkity: Please, don't say no. I asked the DJ to play a special song next for us to dance to.
    Alison: Oh, really? Hmmmm?
    Boinkity: Oh, here comes the song now! Let's go!

    Just then, the music begins:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • rrb77

    There is already a "Pro-active." You should make an "Anti-active." Market to the lazy and you have a hit.

  • Ted_Goodlove

    Can I get some of that Procreate with my Yogurt? I'm just asking!

    OMG, I just re-read this post....and you wrote, "in yogurt".......Now my post sounds disgusting! Whatever, I'll leave it at that!

  • Stefan_MK1

    Oh you and your wacky word antics...or should I say protics?

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