Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

I was going to do this entire reply in emoticons but.....yeah! First impression, is this really the girl I asked out to lunch!?!?!?!...with a shower cap on !?!?!?! and flowers protruding from her clothes!?!?!?!? Then it hit me...YES, I wear the same props in public and so we'd be perfect together! I'll wear a blue shower cap and have a dozen rhododendrons on to contrast you. :)

So sorry Alison used profanity Boink! She has a total potty mouth!

I know... her prodigious use of the "F" word makes me blush. I know I can't stop her from cursing like a drunken sailor, but I wish she'd at least wear a sailor cap more often when she does.

I don't think it is possible to get botulism poisoning from mustard. Mustard won't spoil due to its antibacterial properties (it will not grow mold, mildew, or harmful bacteria).

I'm no expert but I thought it was only if the tin cans you purchase had botulism if the top or bottom was pushing outwards. I think with your situation, some mustard snob just opened the jar to smell it, then put it back. You were just unfortunate enough to purchase a jar of mustard that had been opened by a mustard snob.

I almost forgot! Is that mustard gassy? There is something called mustard gas that is supposed to be very dangerous! I woke up at 6:45 am just to tell you this. Your life may depend on this information! Alison?!?! Beware of the mustard gas!

You always gotta inspect your products first before you buy them. Especially food!

What are you gonna eat with that mustard? I'm curious, because mustard is the worst condiment ever!

Botulism is a little extreme, don't you think?

- The Notorious PTD

I hate when I didn't realize something was opened. The best thing to do is to invite a friend over, feed it to them, and see what happens. What's Dustin doing tomorrow?

I dislike the texture of mustard, so if it kills you I have another reason to hate it.