Archive for February, 2009
I also don’t really have a bean bag chair
My sister called me tonight to tell me that while she isn’t a member of either of my Facebook fan clubs, she wants me to know that she’s my biggest fan. “I’m sorry, who is this again?” I asked. She tried to answer but it was hard to hear her over my yelling “you’re dead to me” and then admonishing my handlers for even putting the call through. It’s so tough to find good handlers these days. “Don’t handle me like that!” I’ll yell, when they’re manhandling my affairs. “Alison Rosen wishes to be left alone!” I’ll announce to my empty apartment, ordering my furniture into the street. “That includes you, futon!” I’ll declare, even though I don’t have a futon. I don’t even want to tell you what I say to my bean bag chair. It verges on obscene.
In other news I made coffee today with a French press because I have one and never use it. Then I pressed fresh flowers in it (Freesia and dandelion) and then I pressed my luck with it and then I pressed two dress shirts and a small run of bibles.
Then I took a nap.
What Is Rosenating?
I’ve told you guys about how my California friends coined the term “Rosenating,” right? Today I met up with my old friend Rob and I grilled him about said coinage. Then I really put the screws to him about the aforementioned term. Then I interrogated him about the word he made up. Then I gave him the third degree about the thing I referred to. Then I read him the riot act about that whatzit I mentioned. Then I shook him down about the doodad we’ve been talking about. And then I deftly culled from him the 411 on the you know what, that, well, you know.
Here’s me on Geraldo
Thanks to Joe McDonald for making this so fast that I’m pretty sure he had made it before I even appeared on the show. If I’d known I could have watched ahead of time to hear what I had to say.
affiliate.