Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

Ways To Stimulate the Economy

Written by Alison | January 26th, 2009 at 6:41 pm | Comments

How about listen to it, for once?!?!?!

Leave a little note that it will find in an unexpected place. Like, say, on a dollar bill.

Serve it breakfast in bed.

Give it a homemade coupon book with coupons good for things like “one night at the movies” or “one backrub” or “3 trillion dollars”

You be Ben Bernanke and go from there. Naughty! LOL! :)

Satin sheets in the U.S. Mint

Municipal Bondage Gear

Unplug the phone and practice the Invisible Hand Theory

Just when you’re about to file for Chapter 11, think of your grandma

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  • Ron J
    Alison,


    I took your advice and stimulating the economy worked! Maybe a little too well, now its all clingy. I think it mistook a quick yield for a long term investment!
  • Christian
    For me it always works to take the economy to dinner, wine and dine it, and then play some Barry White. That always gets it goen.


    Or a couple of roofies. As we call it the "Gutfield".
  • Toddrod
    You see Alison! That comment by Joe above would be perfect for your dad to do his vlog. He could say "Shame shame shame on you Joe! My daughter's bottom line is none of your business, and stop trying to stimulate it! For shame!" That would be awesome!


    Toddrod
  • Joe
    Pretty funny!! Well done Alison.


    In tough economic times, it's nice to know that both Alison and Anna offer some pretty attractive yield curves. Personally, I always enjoy checking out their fixed assets and their healthy bottom lines.
  • Steve Spagnuolo
    Way's to stimulate the economy:


    1. Know what the economy is. (What is an economy anyways, I mean all those words such as mortgages, interest rates, stocks,bailout,short-selling, housing market don't even seem to have meaning.)



    2. Find what is up with Barney Frank's voice.(Guess that's why his parent's called him Barney.)



    3. COnsidering that the economy is the number one issue, Play in your Ipods Pink Floyd's "Money"....



    4. Say "If you seek Amy" out loud fast.
  • EDinATL
    Alison Rosen's hilarity is worth so much, if she were a stock, I'd take a long position in her.
  • Tbone0512
    Ohhh my christ, this fuckin' Hilarious! Good stuff Alison!
  • Scott
    Great thread A Ro!!


    Here's some more stuff to work with:



    ----------------------



    Spreadsheet



    Member Bank



    Stimulus 'package'



    Surging markets



    Inject Liquidity



    In the rears (it's a Mortgage reference people)



    Trickle down...
  • converter42
    Buy it some new power tools, or how about a ShamWow!
  • warren sheehan
    leagalize crack...then cook up a huge nugget and hold it in as long as you can...when exhaling..think
    lowering taxes.
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