It’s Monday evening and dark in the Fox studios. Greg, Bill and Andy are sitting on the Red Eye set long after all the guests have left. They’re drinking beers.

Greg: So why do you think our ratings have slipped over the last two weeks?

Andy: I think it’s the Bill-a-Buster. It slows the show down.

Bill: No, it’s the halftime reports. They aren’t as funny as they used to be.

Greg: Well, whatever it is, we need to bring the ratings up – and I mean now. Roger (Ailes) called me 4 times today. He says if the ratings don’t improve, we’re all toast. I gotta get him off my back!

Andy: Well, what can we do?

Bill: I know – let’s bring the ring girls back. Everybody liked them.

Greg: No, I’ve got a better idea. Get Rosen on the phone.

…….minutes later…….

Alison (at home): Hello?

Greg: Alison, I know this is short notice, but can you be on the show Wednesday night?

Alison: Uhhh… I don’t know. I’m checking out apartments and then I gotta go to the gym. I’ve only been there 15 times this week.

Greg: Alison, we need you! I need you! You’re the only one who can turn our ratings slide around.

Alison: Well, OK. But you owe me – big time!

Greg: Alison, if you were a toaster, I’d do you on the kitchen counter.

I would have been highly disappointed at 3AM Tuesday night/Wednesday morning if I thought I missed your performance, but realized you meant the next day.

I wonder if I’m the only one that’s made that mistake…

I can’t miss a Red Eye with Alison…it just ain’t right!