Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

a thought I had about raccoons

Written by Alison | May 10th, 2008 at 11:57 am | Comments

If you were a raccoon who also happened to be a raconteur, it would be tough to come up with anything pithy to call yourself. Perhaps this is why raccoons make such boring company.

| Posted in Uncategorized

  • Don Allen
    Happy birthday, Alison!
  • Joe
    Happy Birthday Alison!


    How does it feel to be 25? I'm sorry to say this but you actually look a little older, like about 28 and a half. You used to look 30, but your recent visits to the gym have youthened you by 18 months.



    Seriously - I hope you have a wonderful birthday!!



    Just for fun, I looked up canoodle and found it means "To engage in caressing, petting, or lovemaking." Wow - they let pets in??



    If I had to guess, I would have to say that Julie Banderas was canoodling with John Gibson. No? How about O'Reilly canoodling with an intern? It's happened before - ALLEGEDLY.



    Was Dr. Isadore Rosenfeld was playing doctor with Jamie Colby?



    OK, final guess - Greta Van Sustern was spotted making an advance on Col. Olly North. Yep, I knew she was into the military types.
  • Anonymous
    Happy B-day Alison.


    Michael.

    La.
  • Lord Melchior
    Isn't Raccoonteur pithy?
  • Toddrod
    So, let me tell you about this time I was searching for some food in the garbage of this house. A skunk was watching me, and yelled, "Hey Racoon, why don't you just go through the dog door over there. There is probably better food in that house. If you want, I'll keep watch for ya if you bring me back some Doritos." So I told that skunk it was a deal. I poked my head through the dog door, and Eureka! It was the kitchen, and not only were there Doritos in there, there were also some of those wasabi flavored peas! I love those things! I tossed the loot into this Ikea shopping bag that I found nearby, and made my way back to the dog door. Suddenly, the skunk is calling out to me. "Racoon! Racoon! They are back! Hurry!" I poked my head through the door, and low and behold, the skunk was tail up, action end of his body pointing and holding off a human family of four only feet away from my escape route. I dashed through the dog door with my Ikea bag, and under the fence I bolted. The skunk chasing me, yelling, "Come back with my Doritos!" Skunks can be so selfish.


    Toddrod
  • Anonymous
    Update: The song selections I make are the ones that pass through my brain and I dislike them so I write them down to banish them from my memory. It works.


    Michael.

    La.
  • Rocko Chen
    Wow that makes sense to me, seriously.
  • Don Allen
    Boring company? Raccoons will fuck your shit up if you get near them. They make poor company, but certainly not boring.
blog comments powered by Disqus