Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend

One more petty criticism

Written by Alison | December 7th, 2007 at 8:53 pm | Comments

When you’re at a party that’s too loud to hear anyone but not too loud to hide the fact that you were repeatedly calling someone by the wrong name.

(oh and by the way, since you guys were asking/commenting, many of the particular things you mentioned from the Petty Criticism story were Dustin’s. We each wrote our own. Mine were “actionable” (and the fact that it’s now in the dictionary), getting carsick in winter gear, sweet n low, the monolithic JA phenomenon and the way Dustin totally crowded the list with his own picks. I am kidding.

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  • Ted from Accounting
    From the desk of Ted B. Goodlove…


    I’ve received nerd clearance to proclaim the Star Wars trilogies as the greatest movie series of all time. As we approach the holidays, I offer the infamous words of Count Dooku, “Double the Pride, Double the Fall!” Apply this to your life as necessary.



    I went to Wal-Mart to buy Christmas gifts for all of the Alison Rosen bloggers and soon after arriving, a man from recovering addicts group tries to sell me a candy bar in the parking lot. As I walked further a Hispanic lady offers to sell me tamales from her van. Then the “ring ding, ring ding” of the Salvation Army attendant rattles around in my brain while pressuring me to drop my newest state quarter into the collection can. Don’t these people realize as a professional pan handler, I only make $400 a day? I’d rather spend my money at a legitimate business.



    Hurry up and find the fountain of youth Michael! It gets lonely in this blog at night!



    Wait a minute! What is that? There is a guy throwing eggs at my house named Goot! Geez, I’ve got to go!
  • WM
    I remember at that one party where it was really loud, but I could still hear you clearly calling me by the wrong name. For the record, my name is "Wendy", not "Cunt".
  • Anonymous
    (I am going to make my comment about what Ted just said. Very short and easy, for those who are to lazy to read more than a sentence!)


    WHAT THE ****'s with YAHOO!?!?!?!?



    (And that completes my comment on what Ted said.)



    (Duh!)



    By the way Alison. Don't tempt me like that with jokes about Dustin's picks! I am also kidding.



    Chris
  • Ted the Internet Tough Guy
    I drove by "my homeless guy" near the on ramp this morning and he held up a sign that read, “You look spiffy..Need $$$!” It must be a national campaign.


    I’ve been working all day on a boring ass lecture that I’m giving on Monday. I’ve done a gazillion web searches and I realized there is a story that needs to be written about. I’ve noticed how screwed up the Yahoo Top Searches of the day have been before but for some reason this time, I just said WTF? Here is today's list:



    1. Elen Nordegren

    2. Magna Carta

    3. Eva Mendes

    4. GPS Systems

    5. Mormonism

    6. Barry Bonds

    7. Barbara Walters

    8. Christmas Carols

    9. Dolly Parton

    10. Weather



    Inside the Yahoo War Room:



    Lead Technician, “How we looking boys?

    Tech. #1, “Well we’ve had 400 Magna Carta searches in the last 30 seconds.”

    Tech #2, “OMG, GPS Systems just jumped over Barbara Walters!”

    Lead Technician, “Ok, to really screw with everyone throw Dolly Parton in the top 10.”



    So, I get the whole Mormonism and Mitt Romney but Magna Carta? How many freakin people are searching Magna Carta? Dolly Parton? Elen Nordegren? Eva Mendes? Millions of people are doing web searches and for these to be the top 10 of the day…I just don’t get it!



    Alison, help me understand this Yahoo enigma!



    Who the heck is named Goot anyway? I bet he did hog that story!



    Hopefully karma doesn't bit me in the arse and I choke during my lecture! :)
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